Post by Nityānanda dāsa on Apr 17, 2021 5:35:13 GMT -6
Radhe Radhe!
Not sure how many on this forum are aware, but recently Jagadananda wrote a few posts on Facebook on his profile there, trying to do some kind of balancing act of feeling compassion towards Paramadvaiti (formerly Swami) --- who more and more cases of sexual (and other) abuse seem to come up daily --- and also to not be supportive of the abuse done. It's a difficult line to tow and some of Jagat's comments have not helped in the discussion.
Here is a link to the post on Jagadananda's page:
m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10222276086444060&id=1622852566
(It should be open-access, i.e., you should be able to read it even without having a Facebook account if you're interested. And I apologize in advance if you find yourself getting wrapped up in it. It's a challenge to not get affected by this. Or maybe we should?! Which is what I'm kind of exploring below...)
I did find it interesting that Paramadvaiti calls his situation a "shit storm". That speaks volumes. It means primarily that it's an inconvenience for him. And that he really doesn't care or feel compassion towards his victims. Nor does it convey empathy, remorse, or anything like that for the atrocities he's done.
Anyway, I wrote a little about the situation...
These crooks and charlatans, the mislead, the sheeple, the cheaters and the cheated will always be there. How can it not be so in this material realm? And because the abusers and the abused are always present, it is easy to make it one's mission of truth to combat the sham and the ignorance that they perpetuate. Yet, such combat is to fight the material world itself, i.e., to fight Maya in her own realm, and one will never win that fight. She has a job to do and she does it perfectly. Our job is not to fight her, but to use the momentum she gives us in the form of threefold misery as the wind in our sails to move us to the realm of Radha Krishna (God). People (including me) get so tied up and wrapped up in these crusades, trying to prove everyone wrong about their take on sexual misconduct, any form of physical/psychological abuse, abuse of power/position, vaccines, whatever. It's a waste of time that could be used to try to come just a little closer to Radha Govinda (God). Not that we should be blind or ignorant. But everyone has their blind spots, or sticking points, and/or their faith. Trying to force one's own understanding onto others rarely works. In fact, most of the time it has the opposite effect, i.e., entrenching the opposition in even stronger.
I was attending a training on 'Motivational Interviewing' a few days ago and one of the developers of this method (William R. Miller) said, "Isn't it ironic that when people experience being unacceptable, they're paralyzed. It's more difficult to change. And when they experience acceptance as they are, it becomes possible to change." Pretty fascinating idea that a lot of us miss. It's a difficult pill to swallow. For example, it means that we accept a sexual predator for being a sexual predator and then the sexual predator can change?! That's what it means. But note that it doesn't mean that the sexual predator should not be prosecuted for his or her illegal crimes and behavior. In fact, I would suggest that it assists the public and the victims when such a sexual predator is subject to 'justice'. Once that has been put in place, then it is easier to 'hate the sin and not the sinner'. If such a sexual predator like Paramadvaita gets to run scot-free and continue to enjoy the benefits he's exploited others to obtain, then sure, people will be up in arms until he is served justice. Sadly there are too many IGM leaders just like Paramadvaiti that are living lavish lives as sannyasis/gurus/GBC members/etc.
And yet we are all one in our failures. One wise man told me once "It is likely that there is no crime that we have not committed in our countless lives here." Again, this argument doesn't mean that sex offenders (or abusers of any kind) should not be punished. They should be. They should go to jail, do their time, spend the rest of their life trying to make amends, while living a quiet, simple life, alone or with an honest partner who is not in illusion about (neither their own nor) the offender's demons. Such an offender should not continue to receive accolades of any kind or live off of any followers. There should be no following. Period.
I know there are the arguments used to shut the objectors down by those defending the sex abuser from a 'spiritual' point of view. And there are the arguments against the abuse. I'm certainly for the latter personally. Yet I also know that one can endlessly spin one's wheels trying to win that fight. It's like fighting the many-headed Hydra monster; you cut one head off and another pops up to replace it. This is the material world.
So what is the solution? Erich Fromm proposed something along the lines of 'don't mislead and don't be mislead'. This equates proper education, which is extremely lacking in IGM and probably in Chaitanya Vaishnavism as a whole. Especially when it comes to these issues that aren't technically, literally spelled out in scripture. Well, I believe they are spelled out, but the lack of clearly educating others in this is obvious by the continuing abuse that takes place in so-called 'spiritual' circles.
I hope/plan to write about sentimentality, emotionalism, and sadhana-bhakti at some point. I can't tell you the number of people I know who, once committed (sentimentally) to a guru/leader, it takes much more than normal educational methods to unwire devotion to one seen to be 'as good as God'. Once one has made such a severe emotional bond or connection with a person, it takes more than the descent of an 'angel from heaven' to dissuade such persons. And thus the sham goes on. Even to this day, people like Kirtanananda still have devout followers and temples.
And this all sounds a bit hypocritical to me too. Should we crusade against crusaders?? The irony! So I should practice what I preach and stop here, pick up my mala, and continue to cultivate the soil, hoping some day for the seed of Bhakti.
Not sure how many on this forum are aware, but recently Jagadananda wrote a few posts on Facebook on his profile there, trying to do some kind of balancing act of feeling compassion towards Paramadvaiti (formerly Swami) --- who more and more cases of sexual (and other) abuse seem to come up daily --- and also to not be supportive of the abuse done. It's a difficult line to tow and some of Jagat's comments have not helped in the discussion.
Here is a link to the post on Jagadananda's page:
m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10222276086444060&id=1622852566
(It should be open-access, i.e., you should be able to read it even without having a Facebook account if you're interested. And I apologize in advance if you find yourself getting wrapped up in it. It's a challenge to not get affected by this. Or maybe we should?! Which is what I'm kind of exploring below...)
I did find it interesting that Paramadvaiti calls his situation a "shit storm". That speaks volumes. It means primarily that it's an inconvenience for him. And that he really doesn't care or feel compassion towards his victims. Nor does it convey empathy, remorse, or anything like that for the atrocities he's done.
Anyway, I wrote a little about the situation...
These crooks and charlatans, the mislead, the sheeple, the cheaters and the cheated will always be there. How can it not be so in this material realm? And because the abusers and the abused are always present, it is easy to make it one's mission of truth to combat the sham and the ignorance that they perpetuate. Yet, such combat is to fight the material world itself, i.e., to fight Maya in her own realm, and one will never win that fight. She has a job to do and she does it perfectly. Our job is not to fight her, but to use the momentum she gives us in the form of threefold misery as the wind in our sails to move us to the realm of Radha Krishna (God). People (including me) get so tied up and wrapped up in these crusades, trying to prove everyone wrong about their take on sexual misconduct, any form of physical/psychological abuse, abuse of power/position, vaccines, whatever. It's a waste of time that could be used to try to come just a little closer to Radha Govinda (God). Not that we should be blind or ignorant. But everyone has their blind spots, or sticking points, and/or their faith. Trying to force one's own understanding onto others rarely works. In fact, most of the time it has the opposite effect, i.e., entrenching the opposition in even stronger.
I was attending a training on 'Motivational Interviewing' a few days ago and one of the developers of this method (William R. Miller) said, "Isn't it ironic that when people experience being unacceptable, they're paralyzed. It's more difficult to change. And when they experience acceptance as they are, it becomes possible to change." Pretty fascinating idea that a lot of us miss. It's a difficult pill to swallow. For example, it means that we accept a sexual predator for being a sexual predator and then the sexual predator can change?! That's what it means. But note that it doesn't mean that the sexual predator should not be prosecuted for his or her illegal crimes and behavior. In fact, I would suggest that it assists the public and the victims when such a sexual predator is subject to 'justice'. Once that has been put in place, then it is easier to 'hate the sin and not the sinner'. If such a sexual predator like Paramadvaita gets to run scot-free and continue to enjoy the benefits he's exploited others to obtain, then sure, people will be up in arms until he is served justice. Sadly there are too many IGM leaders just like Paramadvaiti that are living lavish lives as sannyasis/gurus/GBC members/etc.
And yet we are all one in our failures. One wise man told me once "It is likely that there is no crime that we have not committed in our countless lives here." Again, this argument doesn't mean that sex offenders (or abusers of any kind) should not be punished. They should be. They should go to jail, do their time, spend the rest of their life trying to make amends, while living a quiet, simple life, alone or with an honest partner who is not in illusion about (neither their own nor) the offender's demons. Such an offender should not continue to receive accolades of any kind or live off of any followers. There should be no following. Period.
I know there are the arguments used to shut the objectors down by those defending the sex abuser from a 'spiritual' point of view. And there are the arguments against the abuse. I'm certainly for the latter personally. Yet I also know that one can endlessly spin one's wheels trying to win that fight. It's like fighting the many-headed Hydra monster; you cut one head off and another pops up to replace it. This is the material world.
So what is the solution? Erich Fromm proposed something along the lines of 'don't mislead and don't be mislead'. This equates proper education, which is extremely lacking in IGM and probably in Chaitanya Vaishnavism as a whole. Especially when it comes to these issues that aren't technically, literally spelled out in scripture. Well, I believe they are spelled out, but the lack of clearly educating others in this is obvious by the continuing abuse that takes place in so-called 'spiritual' circles.
I hope/plan to write about sentimentality, emotionalism, and sadhana-bhakti at some point. I can't tell you the number of people I know who, once committed (sentimentally) to a guru/leader, it takes much more than normal educational methods to unwire devotion to one seen to be 'as good as God'. Once one has made such a severe emotional bond or connection with a person, it takes more than the descent of an 'angel from heaven' to dissuade such persons. And thus the sham goes on. Even to this day, people like Kirtanananda still have devout followers and temples.
And this all sounds a bit hypocritical to me too. Should we crusade against crusaders?? The irony! So I should practice what I preach and stop here, pick up my mala, and continue to cultivate the soil, hoping some day for the seed of Bhakti.